I am so easily swayed when it comes to the idea of JP (I can call him JP) behind the camera for any work of cinematic artistry. It's almost like an iron-clad guarantee of superlative film that is a natural by-product of his involvement. Let's face it - the man knew how to make a movie.
I guess it stands to reason to expect universes of awe and mystery from the man who gave us such delights as Slugs, Pod People, Mystery On Monster Island and my extreme favorite Supersonic Man. These are works for all time; I do not make any bones about the fact that I dearly love JP's films and watch them every chance I get.
But what about Mad Slasher films?
I know; I've spoken out against such stupid efforts as Friday the 13ths 1,2,3 and The Final Chapter, and how they repeat the cycle of killing teenagers - usually female teenagers - that in and of itself spawned a whole sub-genre of horror that the MPAA has tried to live down ever since.
However, in the case that I'm about to discuss today - Pieces - we have something different...and entertaining. What we have, basically, is the film that Pandemonium tried to be.
A Mad Slasher send-up? Sure, but also one that knows where to pull its look and its inspiration from - the Italian giallo.
But before I get ahead of myself, let's get into the plot, shall we? While playing with a sexy naked lady puzzle in 1942 Boston, a young teenage boy is repressed by his mother, and he kills her with an ax, chopping her into several...well, you can guess what he chops her into.
Forty years later, in a modern-day (or 1982-day) college campus, a serial killer is killing young women and cutting them into various you-know-whats, a different body part from each student. Detectives Lt. Bracken (Christopher George) and Sgt. Holden (Frank Braña) make a deal with the campus dean (Edmund Purdom), to infiltrate the school with police agent Mary Riggs (Lynda Day George) as a tennis teacher so they can investigate the rash of killings inconspicuously.
Together with student Kendall James (Ian Sera), they try to find the identity of the killer. Could it be the sinister handyman Willard (Paul L. Smith)? Could it be one of the other leering, nondescript teachers, students or a random citizen of Boston? One thing's for sure: it's someone with a chainsaw!
Easy enough to explain the intentions of a movie like this, even if its tagline wears its heart on its sleeve: "You Don't Have To Go To Texas For A Chainsaw Massacre!" - and right they are. Pieces makes the most of every last penny of its microscopic budget to give us - the world-weary viewers - what we expect from a movie that calls itself Pieces. Body pieces. Lots of 'em. Arms. Legs. Hands. Feet. Metatarsals. You name it.
But again, this is a parody, a send-up of the Mad Slasher genre that gives the seasoned onlooker reason to smile. For one thing, it's set on a college campus - a veritable depository for fresh, nubile bodies and more red herrings than the fish market.
Effects gentleman Basilio Cortijo has enough red dye and Karo Syrup to paint the town (or campus, in this case) red. Not to mention enough animal guts and entrails to sub for their human counterparts.
At one point our killer (whoever he is) surprises some poor hapless lass in the college gym shower and chainsaw massacres her in half at waist level for her troubles. Of course JP and company couldn't do anything like the real thing, baby, so what do they do? Dutifully march to the local meat market, buy a freshly prepped pig ready for a luau, dress it up like their character, rev up the ol' Husqvarna and vrrrrrriizzzzz....
The magic of Hollywood, Spanish branch, ladies and germs.
There's a lot of that going on in Pieces, but all the more reason for JP to frame it in bright daylights, quick cuts, clever angles and interesting uses of night and shadows. This is the work we've seen in the films of Argento, Fulci and Bava, but here its use in an all-American setting (by way of Spain, but anyway...) makes the watcher realize that maybe this JP guy has it right for once.
Though writing uncredited, JP collaborated with other writers John W. Shadow (who only had a couple of other writing credits prior to this) and Dick Randall (who actually wrote noticeable titles such as The Mad Butcher, Lady Frankenstein, The Erotic Adventures of Robinson Crusoe and Invaders of the Lost Gold) to get the overwrought parts right. It's ridiculous all the way through - from a blood-soaked prologue, hysterical characters, overactive cutaways, proper usage of the word "bastard" - many times - , a thoroughly gratuitous Paul L. Smith bit part utilizing his very best Dune qualities, all the way down to a finale that you kinda expect but still manages to grab you when (and where) you least expect it.
That's my JP.
So let's take a moment and examine the direction. JP is a past master when it comes to building up drama, showcasing action, giving us dialogue that makes the most of the characters' speaking abilities (usually) and various show-stopping scenes. Very nice. Then again, what can you expect from a man who made us believe that a man (on a string) can fly?
The acting cranks it up, alright. The Georges (Christopher and Lynda Day) made the most of their two-person road act with this, Day Of The Animals and Mortuary. Oh, there's more but for the purposes of this site, that's enough. He's stern and stoic, she gets hysterical and screamy and at least once or twice, one shows attraction for the other. I think it's in their contracts.
And you may recognize actors Sera and Braña in their respective roles, and well you should if you've seen even just a couple of other JP movies. They are regular players and fill their parts quite well. As a matter of fact, I think they probably have the best parts in the whole thing, seeing as how when you recognize the regular players in a directors' ongoing works, they're ongoing actors for a reason. Especially Sera, who actually puts all of himself in his role and runs with it.
And other parts by Smith and Purdom are about what you expect. Red herrings are red herrings, no matter what, but there are such a thing as memorable herrings. These guys are certainly memorable.
I really did enjoy Pieces. What other Mad Slasher movie features a quick bit by a random Kung-Fu master? What other Mad Slasher movie contains a military march as a dramatic crux? What other Mad Slasher movie has a female aerobics scene...well, okay, maybe there's a lot of that one, but I still didn't mind.
Okay, so maybe Pieces wasn't a barn-burner in its first release - after all, Pieces had Friday The 13th Part III, Amityville II: The Possession, The Slumber Party Massacre, The New York Ripper, The Dorm That Dripped Blood and The Beast Within to compete with and glom whatever bucks were left over from those under-developed, non-ironic money hogs. Yeah, even Slumber Party Massacre - Amy Jones and Rita Mae Brown be damned. It was in video and in rentals that it found its place and JP's fans found retribution for their idol.
With JP's sad passing in January of 2011, we lost a man who may not have had the respect and honor of his contemporaries, but damn it, he sure did have the fire and passion. Pieces was just one example of this passion, and for any faults you may (indecipherably) find in it, it is without a doubt a movie that you know for certain more than one person had fun making, and even more people had fun watching.
As for me, I'll take Pieces over any Friday The 13th, Halloween or Nightmare On Elm Street any old day. So yeah, that's an average of...oh...25-30 to 1. Good average, I say.
