Well, you asked fr it, you sickos - another installment of the only series online where foreign posters are heartlessly ridiculed.
...with an imaginary friend.
And speaking of Jeff, he's here, so let's do this thing:
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TGWD - Dracula!!
JEFF - Oops, the artist thought they were doing a poster for Blacula, hence the exclamation points.
TGWD - "Deadly And Brutal" - oh good, because I was afraid this was going to be one of those complacent vampires who sits around and updates his LiveJournal according to his emotional state.
JEFF - And why is Dracula being played by Two-Face?
TGWD - No idea; especially since each side of Two-Face's face is the same except for color.
JEFF - Maybe he slept on his side in the tanning booth.
TGWD - Who's Anthon Hopkin?
JEFF - Some poor guy who was shorted on "Wheel of Fortune".
TGWD - Apparently shorted by just a consonant and a vowel.
TGWD - I'd like to solve the puzzle...
JEFF - Go ahead.
TGWD - Anthony Hopking!
JEFF - Oohhh...I'm sorry, that is incorrect...and I'm afraid Vanna's fainted in Two-Face's arms so she can't show us what's behind the blank tiles. Johnny, do we have any parting gifts for our contestant? No? Well, I'm sorry then....
TGWD - Salma Hayek should have been in Dracula.
JEFF - I could understand Dracula wanting to bite her then.
TGWD - I could understand ANYONE wanting to chew on her awhile.
JEFF - I want to chew on her right now.
TGWD - But not while she's asphyxiated like that; it's not fair to Salma.
JEFF - Reeves?
TGWD - Hmm?
JEFF - Just Reeves?
JEFF - Who is Reeves?
TGWD - That could be anybody.
TGWD - Steve Reeves.
TGWD - Christopher Reeves.
JEFF - Gleen Reeves of Glass.
TGWD - Great; alienate another nationalty, would you please?
JEFF - We're safe; I don't think this site's allowed in Asian-speaking countries.
TGWD - Except for torture purposes.
JEFF - Right.
JEFF - That three-headed dog in the business suit; was that in the original story?
TGWD - Well-dressed fire-breathing dogs don't figure in Bram Stoker's world-view.
JEFF - What about Francis Ford Coppola's?
TGWD - Well....
TGWD - Hard to say...anyone who can go from Mafia dramas to Robin Williams playing a 10 year-old kid is capable of anything.
JEFF - Like explosions in the corner, there?
TGWD - Yep.
JEFF - And dreadlocks coming off the moon.
TGWD - Uh-huh.
JEFF - And that three-headed dog's suit could really use some ironing...
TGWD - Okay! Okay, I get it - the artist is incompetent!
JEFF - And...?
TGWD - Francis Ford Coppola isn't completely responsible for this level of failure.
JEFF - And...?
TGWD - It's about as far from "deadly and brutal" as you can get without moving out of state.
JEFF - And...?
TGWD - I wanna bite Salma Hayek, too.
JEFF - Thank you.
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Another installment coming soon...give it 30 days or so.
Dope (and Jeff) out.
- TGWD
