The Worst Posters EVER!!! Part 3 (Halloween Edition)

This is a special edition of my newest regular series - one where I not only delve into the "what were they thinking?" psyche of bad movie posters made right here in the good old États-Unis, but ones with a certain theme to them.

Right: it's October which means Halloween is just right around the corner, so here we have some of the worst ideas for scary movie posters. Latch onto the premise here: you make a movie that's supposed to be scary and you try to relate that to your art department so they can come up with something that goes in your local movie house, warning people that "IT'S ONLY A MOVIE...IT'S ONLY A MOVIE...", and instead make the casual poster-viewer ask, "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT...WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT..."

So here we go with some really bad ideas for scary posters, American-proud, baby.

























BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2

Oh no; they chopped down an Ent! Forget for just a moment that this was probably one of the worst sequels ever, the poster for it has a screaming face in a chopped-down tree stump. Was this scary in the way that the Sierra Club would be shuddering at the sight of it? Tree stump...ooooohhhh....


























INSEMINOID

Gynecology...IN SPACE! Couldn't they just have shown a hideous alien lurking in the shadows of space or something? Did we need to be treated to the worst OB/GYN job ever? Love the futuristic Aharoni font there: in space, no one can see you're a cheap-ass movie producer who won't spring for DigiFace font.
























BLACKENSTEIN

Yes yes yes, I know, I know: or Black Frankenstein. Either/or. A rose by any other... Uh, why do we have the latest cover girl from Players Magazine advertising your horror flick? Not that I'm complaining or anything...it's like she's looking at the camera, yelling, "AGH! No, I said I WON'T be in your stupid movie, now give me back the rest of my top!"

























DEMONOID: MESSENGER OF DEATH

Hey! Someone tell Jack Black I found his missing Tenacious D album cover!


























VAMPIRE GRAVEYARD

LITTLE SUZY - Daddy, look at the drawing I made for Ms. Prosser's class!
DADDY - Not now, Suzy, I have to finish this movie poster by midnight or I'll lose my job.
LITTLE SUZY - I'm improving with my shading, aren't I? I still have to work on my smoothing and texture but...
DADDY - (looks at poster) Suzy, Daddy'll pay you fifty bucks if I can have this picture!
LITTLE SUZY - Make it a hundred.
DADDY - Deal! MARTHA, my wife! Call the bosses and tell 'em their poster's ready!
MARTHA - You're pathetic.
DADDY - What???

There we go, badness to hold you over another month. AMERICAN badness, to boot.

Now seriously, where did I leave that Highlander II poster?? Dang it....

Dope out.

- TGWD

The Worst Posters EVER!!! Part 3 (Halloween Edition) 2010-10-03T06:25:00-07:00 Rating: 4.5 Diposkan Oleh: admin